Love you like you mean it

One of the most important factors to creating the life you want is loving yourself. It takes strength to grow and at some points in life I know this seems impossible.

Lots of us get stuck in one-two jobs that are unsatisfying and we believe we are going to make it in that business but they have no needs to promote you.

I know a bunch of us that get into relationships that we say this is the one. Then years down the road we realize this person has no wants to marry me or vise visa.

How about those semesters of school that we commit to then suddenly conclude that we want to change majors.

I’ve been in all of these situations. I started school to become a kindergarten teacher and switched my major to psychology. Eventually I left college because I learn better hands on and not from a textbook. I focused my attention on the retail and restaurant industry. All I will say is I have amazing gratitude to those who make this their life long jobs and do it with strong hearts. I’ve loved most of the jobs I was employed with but mainly because of the staff and customers. If you want to know my true feelings we should go for a coffee. After 8 years of those two industries I decided that was it.

On the relationship factor I’ve been blessed with the love from two amazing men. My first love was my high school sweetheart. Just thinking back on him makes me smile. We had some amazing times and some sad ones. In the end we are both living amazing lives our own way. My second one was huge. I thought he would be the one I’d spend the rest of my life with. For the both of us I am happy to say this was not the outcome. As amazing as our love was we are both extremely different people and saw our lives lived in very different ways.

Coming up on three years of being a single women I know the choices and experiences I have had made me into the strong, confident women I am today.

There were times I had to ask myself big questions:

• Why am I spending time developing somebody else’s dream?
• Why am I working hard and not getting appreciated or better promoted?
• Why am I just making minimum wage? With no signs of movement within this company.
• How do I deal with these endless fights and no growth?
• How did I get myself into a place where I am just ok?
• Why am I always dreaming of a big happy life and not doing anything to make it happen?
• Why am I staying with a person just to have their company?
• How is it that I am ok with this relationship but if my best friend was in the same situation I would be telling her/him to get out of there?
• How can I be with a person who says they love me but has no clue of the potential I have and doesn’t want to find out.

These questions I bet most of us have asked ourselves at some point in our lives. Almost all of those I have.

So how do we get past this? How do we know there is a better side?

Silly people, you’re asking the queen of seeing the glass half full with a jug right next to it ready to fill it up.

First you just need to stop living a life that isn’t yours. (If this has to do with a job please make sure you don’t just leave the job without having your dream job or financials backing you up)

Start loving yourself unconditionally and first. Do not try to make someone else happy. We are dealing with your happiness.

If you need start little. Change your routine. Do one thing you’ve been wanting to for awhile but thought you couldn’t. Like training to run a marathon. Show yourself you can do anything you put your mind to.

Be nice to yourself. Stop putting yourself down. You are an amazing person.

Learn to appreciate the world.

Have you ever thought about it? We get to live. How cool is that?! At this very moment I have the chance to fall onto the ground and play with a rottweiler who loves me unconditionally. I have the chance to walk down to the ocean and just sit. Or I could run into my living room and dance crazy to Bruno Mar’s newest cd!

LIFE IS GREAT! Look around right now. What do you see? What makes you happy right now?

*As I am writing this ‘shoop’ by salt n pepa just came on. We all know how I feel about this. Yes I’m siting here rapping. Stop judging.*

Back to the subject.

Find what works for you to help you make your dream life come true.

• Vision boards
• A new updated resume
• New clothes. Get rid of clothes that make you feel just ok
• Change your apartment/house around
• Put backgrounds on your phone or computer that show your dream life (right now my background and lock screen is the Coachella 2013 line up)
• Find a gym or fitness class that you feel comfortable in. Exercise is key.
• Hang out with that inspiring friend you have. I know you have one.
• Read read read! The self help section of the bookstore is not a scary place (sometimes highly amusing)
• Just sit down and write your list of dreams, goals, wants.
• Make a bucket list and start checking it off.

Start loving yourself. Do the things that make you happy. You deserve it. Good things always happen to those who try.

Trust yourself.

Ask your support system for help. Even if it’s just one friend and you need their support while you leave an unhappy relationship. They’ll be there for you.

Love yourself like you mean it. Live your life your way. Enjoy the fact that we all have endless opportunities to discover, grow, and learn. Your life is one big adventure go out and start living your story.